I was laid off but before we get into my reaction to the situation, let’s start from the beginning. Buckle up.

My career in technology sales started in 2011. I landed my first gig out of a college as a Part Time Specialist at the Apple Store in Orland Square Mall.

This job was perfect because I was a huge iPhone user and it’s the biggest brand in the world so the products really sold themselves. I learned so much during my time with Apple…everything from communication skills, providing and receiving feedback, to closing a sale.

But after six years or so working in retail started to be too stressful. Plus I’d rather spend quality time with family during the holidays than hundreds of frantic customers. So I made the leap to the Software as a Service industry or “SaaS''" as they call it.

Between 2017-2020 I worked for several global tech companies, in every role from entry-level like Sales Development Rep to an Account Executive. Improving all of my sales skills like negotiating and closing deals with large organizations.

Then the pandemic happened. COVID-19 shutdown the world.

Layoffs were happening, what felt like, every week. Definitely one of the most stressful, anxious times of my life. (or so I thought)

I took this time to reflect not just on my career at the time but more importantly on my life. I made sure to prioritize what was most valuable to me. My health, family, friends, dedicated time to my passions and hobbies. I needed self-nurturing more than ever.

So the summer of 2020 I purchased a new house, build a home gym that helped jumpstart my fitness journey. and started to work as a Full Time Consultant. Eager to become an entrepreneur in my own right I landed few projects here and there. Things were going well with some challenges along the way. But I saw myself feeling like I needed the stability of having a job where I can expect money to come in every two weeks. I wanted to be comfortable, not challenged.

I’m sure you can guess what I did next…I found a job.

Took my sales talents to yet another tech company but this time focusing on training other salespeople. This was something I was always interested in doing so I was excited to get as much out of this new experience. For a year I progressed, did great in some areas while struggling a bit in others but I never gave up even though my intuition was telling me this company was not for me.

As luck would have it a recruiter reached out to me last summer about a new role to lead all sales training at the company. This was the biggest payday in my life but financially and intellectually. I owned an entire business function, used my project management skills to stay organized and productive. Partnered with all the cross functional teams across the company to build relationships and rapport to get the best work done. Not to mention, this company was in the cannabis industry specifically technology so I found my perfect match of passion and profession aka smoking weed and tech sales. What more could you ask for?!

A few months into the role things start to turn for the worst. Executives, managers, and team members start getting laid off every other month. I was on my third manager in six months but despite the distractions I kept my head down and handled my business. Then we made it to 420, the infamous cannabis holiday that celebrates the plant by being consumed by millions around the world.

I spent weeks putting together a training for a sales meeting in Las Vegas. Practicing the sections I was assigned to present, excited to meet many of coworkers for the first time in-person. The two day training went great, a lot of positive feedback from the team. Nothing was left to do but to enjoy Sin City minus the Sin.

I came back the following week, ready to recap the trip and prepare some updates for my manager. I remember almost everything vividly on that Wednesday. I just finished a workout made me a cup of coffee, Cafe Bustelo to be exact, and sat at my desk in my office at home. I could feel the cool breeze coming in from my balcony door that was half open on what had to be a 65 degree morning. Ready to talk about last weeks sales meeting I open the invite for my meeting with my manager in Google Calendar and to my surprise I noticed our CFO was attending also.

Nothing to be concerned about at all right because I just had a chance to chat with this very person in Las Vegas the week prior. All Good. No, not all good because everything went to sh*t in minutes.

I say to my manager, “hey I noticed that the CFO is joining the call anything I should be prepared to discuss?”

They go, “no, I’ll let them discuss it”.

CFO joins the call, begins this sob story about how the company is burning through too much cash and has to make adjustments. Then tells me as of today we are terminating your position...WTF?!

Was my exact body language. My fight or flight response kicked in. I am pissed but not letting them off the hook because I need answers.

Is this based on my performance? No

A result of some coworker complaint? No

Failure of any previous projects or trainings? No

At this point I’m going through so many emotions. Anger, Disappointment, Shame, Frustration. By 11:08am I was unemployed.

I’m back in this space, reflecting on what’s next. The universe is trying to give me a sign and maybe I need pay attention this time around. So I decided not to let the incompetence of a company dictate my worth. Sometimes when we struggle at work it’s hard to see the difference between your Role vs your Identity. I’m here to tell you that your morals, values, and how you show up in the world matters so much more than the 9-5 you had to choose to take care of yourself.

I tapped in. Smoked some weed. Came to a conclusion. That I want to go all-in and build my own brand within cannabis. I’m passionate about this space because I suffer from a spine ailment that causes pain daily and opioids are not for me. Now what does that mean?

I’m not completely sure how things may change over time but join me on this ride as I continue to learn about the plant and industry. Using my experiences and sharing my journey to provide information about the cannabis tech space.

Welcome to saas to grass.